“Pretending to be happy when you’re alone is an example of how strong you are as a person.
Take care of your thoughts when you’re alone. And take care of your words when you’re with people. We are all so much together but we are all dying of loneliness.”
– Albert Schweitzer
The struggle I face the most is the loneliness of living alone. I remember in my thirties thinking I just want to be alone. Life was chaotic and I just wanted peace and quiet. Solitude was what I thought I wanted. Be careful what you wish for right?
Loneliness happens when you realize the relationships in your life aren’t fulfilling to you. When sudden life changes leave you going to bed and waking up all by yourself. You become lonely. All you begin to hunger for is just someone to enjoy the day with. Someone to talk to. Somebody to go to an event with. A companion to travel a cruise with. Someone to go watch a movie or shop a flea market with. Someone to come over for dinner and a movie. All your heart wants is someone to talk to and share your life with…but there is no one there. Not one person for you.
The reality is most times weeks will go by and not one conversation even happens outside of you and your furr baby. You give invites to friends and family even offering to pay their way only to be told sorry we are busy and can’t make it. Perhaps even worst is you get no reply back from them at all. Ouch! A simple “No” would have been considered a conversation to you. Afterall, it would have been interaction you had not had in a while.
You begin to isolate yourself even more. You go further into depression…further into feeling unloved. You sense rejection at every turn. Yes, living alone hurts and it is no joke.
A recent study from the HRSA.gov website says 1 out of 3 people today live alone. That’s staggering when you think about it…
Loneliness effects health and mental well being. When you begin to have health issues that hinders you from being as active or even driving places alone you feel defeated. A loss of your independence to living life has happened. We want to live life like everyone else. We want to go out and enjoy a concert or movie but no one you know is available to assist and attend with you.
That’s the moment when your mind starts lying to you telling you that no one wants to be with you. No one really cares about you. You could die in your sleep but would anyone care? These become the familiar voices you hear in your head day after day. Night after night as you eat alone. As you crawl into bed alone. Some days you don’t want to shower or dress because you don’t see any reason too. Afterall, you aren’t going anywhere. No one will see you. Day after day there is no one who checks in. You begin to fear the “what if’s”…”what if” a medical emergency happens, and “what if” no one finds you until it’s too late. “What if” I fell and broke my hip or “what if” I suffered a stroke and I couldn’t talk or move? How long would I lay on the floor before I died or how long before I was rescued? Will the floor be my final resting place where I take my last breath? These are not feelings of self pity here these are the “what if” feelings of the fearful reality for seniors and singles who live alone every single day. The 1 out of 3 who don’t have regular close relationships with family and friends for whatever reason.
If this is you like it is me…now is the time to grasp your truth. We’re in a season of loneliness and there is not a dern thing we can do to immediately change it. Trust me I tried. Go back up a few paragraphs to the place I said I’ve given several invites out and no responses. It’s just a lonely hard fact: we are alone! We are the 1 out of 3 lonely.
It’s the Lonely Port place I call it. It’s the time we must look deeply within ourselves to realize our joy isn’t made complete by the relationships of others. It’s time to find the joy that can only come from our Lord. His promise is to never leave us nor forsake us. There is a special joy He has just for those who know Him. We just have to seek it and find it.
His Joy doesn’t require there to be another human soul in it’s existence. His Joy is made complete in Christ alone. It can fill and satisfy that emptiness of being single. We are made to be in relationship with others He designed us He knows this. That first most important and lifegiving relationship begins in Jesus Christ. If you don’t personally have a relationship with Him it is simple to get. Just ask Him He says. Call upon the name of The Lord and you will be saved. Admit you tried doing life without Him and you were wrong. You need Him to enter your heart and become Your Lord. When you do this your loneliness will change. You will still struggle but you will never struggle alone again. His hope now lives in you and me.
When your hope has been thrashed. And your thoughts have become lies. It’s time to put on the Joy of the Lord and wear it. Time to put on a spirit of praise and gratefulness. Make sure everyday we dress up in the whole armor of God and be filled completely by His Spirit.
We can choose to put away that spirit of loneliness. Change our perspective mindset and trust that when we have a relationship with Jesus Christ then we are never ever alone.
Let us give thanks today for He is good and His love and mercy endures forever. Let us relinquish our pain and sorrow and allow the Lord of our life to turn our mourning into dancing.
He never responds with I am too busy. He will never ignore your request. He will always answer. He is always there.